I seem to hold grudges only against people who hold grudges. I am always eager to work things out, to talk over issues until they've been settled to our mutual satisfaction, and when someone else would rather stay angry and silent instead, it does create resentment in me. All they'd need to do to work it out would be to actively discuss things. I can let things go once I know the other person is finished with the issue.
Sometimes they'll say they're finished with the issue, but if anything comes up later that touches on it or reflects back in some way, if they respond with more grudge-holding then clearly they were not finished, and things still need to be aired. Feelings, hurts, anger -- better in the air and clarified, discussed, and settled than held inside where they poison good relationships.
